goodness, has it been that long?

Yes, class, Ms. Crabapple is back. Well, not exactly, but since the last therapy session, that nasty tic is much reduced.

You two in the back, stop that or I shall have to separate you. With a saw.

Today's topic is (minor scary music) How not to Irritate the Already Manic People. Or, How to live Life as a slightly immature Slug.

First things first. Most people can be manic unless they are sedated with enough coffee to float a house. I know, you thought I would say boat, but this is post-Katrina and the great Mid-West Flood, so the proper term is now house. In light of the making people nuts issue, a morning smile goes a long way.

Mr. James, that is not a morning smile. Yes, I see your teeth and baring them like you are a man eating tiger is not what I had in mind. Stay in your seat, Mr. James. The growling is also not appropriate. Don't make me use force. This chair in my hand is not a prop. The gun? Oh, just a back up maneuver. Mr. James! Stop, sir! Wagging your head back and forth will get you a demerit.

Cease, sir! Now!

(slow, rising music with oboes) Very well.

(Lots of gunshots, a bit of screaming, howls and manic laughter, ending with a loud pop.)

Sorry about that, class. Pardon me while I clean the gunpowder residue off my hands. I find these little bottles of hand cleaner very efficient. What is it, Miss Smith? Oh, that mound of debris on the floor is a distraction? Yes, I realize that and once the janitor has a chance to remove it, we can get on with class.

Oh, dear. The bell is ringing. It does seem class time is getting shorter and shorter these days. I assure all of you we will get more information in front of you in the next session. Be sure and bring bright and shining faces, ready to receive this vital information. Class dismissed.